Prepare yourself for a heaping helping of humor with our collection of corny and classic dad jokes!
You know the ones we’re talking about – they’re punny, they’re groan-inducing, and they’re exactly the kind of jokes that fathers around the world love to share with their kids, eliciting sighs, eye rolls, and (occasionally) laughs.
Whether you’re a dad looking for some new material, or just someone who appreciates a good (or not-so-good) joke, this collection is sure to tickle your funny bone.
Don’t say we didn’t warn you – these are dad jokes, after all. Prepare to groan!
- Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field! - Q: Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm?
A: Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk. - Q: Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes?
A: Because they can crack up. - Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho cheese! - Q: Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
A: It was two tired. - Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A: Because it felt crummy. - Q: How does a penguin build its house?
A: Igloos it together. - Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear! - Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An impasta. - Q: How do you organize a space party?
A: You planet. - Q: Why did the math book look sad?
A: Because it had too many problems. - Q: What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
A: An abdominal snowman. - Q: Why was the math test so happy?
A: Because it felt like a piece of pi. - Q: What do you call an illegally parked frog?
A: Toad away. - Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. - Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one. - Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: Fsh. - Q: Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field. - Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing! - Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
A: Frostbite. - Q: Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of trousers?
A: Just in case he got a hole in one. - Q: What do you call a fish wearing a crown?
A: A king fish. - Q: Why don’t crabs donate?
A: Because they’re shellfish. - Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like a nut! - Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she will let it go. - Q: What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A: A trom-bone. - Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
A: Frostbite! - Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels. - Q: Why was the computer cold?
A: It left its Windows open. - Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed! - Q: How do you catch a whole school of fish?
A: With bookworms. - Q: What do you call a snobbish criminal going downstairs?
A: A condescending con descending. - Q: Why don’t some animals play cards?
A: Because they’re afraid of cheetahs. - Q: Why did the man put his money in the blender?
A: Because he wanted to make some liquid assets. - Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field. - Q: What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine! - Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it. - Q: What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
A: Roberto! - Q: Why did the belt go to jail?
A: Because it was holding up a pair of pants. - Q: How do you make a Kleenex dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it! - Q: What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A: A little horse. - Q: Why did the boy go to the principal’s office?
A: He felt he needed a little principal guidance. - Q: What do you call a magic dog?
A: A Labracadabrador. - Q: Why did the bicycle fall over?
A: It was two tired. - Q: Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
A: Because the “p” is silent. - Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor?
A: Because it had a virus! - Q: What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?
A: Halloumi (Hello me). - Q: What do you call a bear with no socks on?
A: Bare-foot. - Q: What time did the man go to the dentist?
A: Tooth-hurty. - Q: Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
A: To reach the high notes. - Q: What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot. - Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it. - Q: Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
A: They don’t have the guts. - Q: Why was the sand wet?
A: Because the sea-weed! - Q: How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
A: Look for the fresh prints. - Q: How do you drown a hipster?
A: In the mainstream. - Q: Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
A: Because they make up everything. - Q: What’s a foot’s favorite type of chips?
A: Doritoes! - Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
A: Supplies! - Q: Why did the melon jump into the lake?
A: It wanted to be a watermelon. - Q: Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
A: They don’t have the guts. - Q: What do you call fake spaghetti?
A: An impasta! - Q: How do you organize a party in space?
A: You planet. - Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: It wasn’t peeling well. - Q: Why did the math book look so sad?
A: Because of all its problems. - Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. - Q: Did you hear about the new broom?
A: It’s sweeping the nation! - Q: What kind of car does an egg drive?
A: A yolkswagen. - Q: Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm?
A: Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk. - Q: Why was the math book unhappy?
A: Because it had too many problems. - Q: Why did the chicken go to the seance?
A: To talk to the other side. - Q: What does a house wear?
A: Address. - Q: What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race?
A: Ketchup! - Q: What did the big flower say to the little flower?
A: Hi, bud! - Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing. - Q: Why can’t a leopard hide?
A: Because it’s always spotted. - Q: Why did the bicycle fall over?
A: Because it was two-tired. - Q: What did one wall say to the other?
A: I’ll meet you at the corner. - Q: What do you call a fish that wears a crown?
A: A king fish. - Q: Why was the belt arrested?
A: Because it was holding up some pants. - Q: Why did the golfer bring two pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one. - Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
A: Because they lactose. - Q: What do you call a bear with no ears?
A: B. - Q: Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
A: Because they are shellfish. - Q: What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
A: Nobody knows. - Q: Why don’t some fish play piano?
A: They’re scared of the keys. - Q: How does a cucumber become a pickle?
A: It goes through a jarring experience. - Q: Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes?
A: They could crack up. - Q: Why did the computer go to school?
A: It wanted to improve its data processing skills. - Q: What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A: A can’t opener. - Q: What did the grape say when it was stepped on?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine. - Q: Why was the math problem looking sad?
A: Because it had too many problems. - Q: How does a train eat?
A: It goes chew, chew. - Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho cheese. - Q: Why don’t some animals play cards in the wild?
A: Too many cheetahs. - Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: Because it had too many problems. - Q: What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
A: A satisfactory. - Q: What’s brown and sticky?
A: A stick. - Q: Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
A: Because he was always spotted. - Q: Why did the bicycle fall over?
A: It was two-tired. - Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear. - Q: What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
A: An irrelephant. - Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like a nut. - Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake. - Q: Why do we tell actors to ‘break a leg’?
A: Because every play has a cast. - Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot.
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And there you have it! You’ve made it through our collection of the funniest, corniest dad jokes around!
Each one is perfectly crafted to elicit maximum groans and laughs, perfect for sharing at family gatherings or just to lighten the mood on a regular day.
Remember, the key to delivering a good dad joke is all in the timing… and the willingness to endure a few eye rolls from your audience.
So, keep these jokes in your back pocket for the next time you want to make someone groan or laugh, or both.
Until then, keep your humor sharp and your puns punnier!