Do you have an insatiable appetite for humor? You’re in for a treat!
We’ve whipped up a smorgasbord of hilarious quotes about food from celebrities and famous personalities that will have you laughing all the way to the fridge.
These are not just for chefs, foodies or culinary enthusiasts, but for anyone who finds joy in food, which, let’s be honest, is just about everyone!
From satirical jabs about diets to witty remarks about cooking, these quotes present food in a whole new, ridiculously funny light!
- “I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C. Fields
- “I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding.” – Mike Birbiglia
- “My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.” – Orson Welles
- “I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.” – Erma Bombeck
- “People who love to eat are always the best people.” – Julia Child
- “If you’re afraid of butter, use cream.” – Julia Child
- “The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook.” – Julia Child
- “Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.” – Sophia Loren
- “When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, ‘Four. I don’t think I can eat eight.'” – Yogi Berra
- “Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks.” – Marilyn Wann
- “Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn.” – Garrison Keillor
- “You can tell a lot about a fellow’s character by his way of eating jellybeans.” – Ronald Reagan
- “Ice-cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn’t illegal.” – Voltaire
- “Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.” – Anthony Bourdain
- “I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.” – Rodney Dangerfield
- “I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.” – Bill Murray
- “I asked the waiter, ‘Is this milk fresh?’ He said, ‘Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'” – Phyllis Diller
- “It’s amazing how pervasive food is. Every second commercial is for food. Every second TV episode takes place around a meal. In the city, you can’t go ten feet without seeing or smelling a restaurant. There are 20 foot high hamburgers up on billboards. I am acutely aware of food, and its omnipresence is astounding.” – Adam Scott
- “I realized I was an attractive older woman when a gentleman offered to help carry my groceries and he was referring to one bag of M&Ms.” – Joan Rivers
- “I get way too much happiness from good food.” – Elizabeth Olsen
- “I asked the barista at Starbucks why they don’t serve coffee-flavored coffee. She said it would be redundant. I said, ‘redundancy is the key to Starbucks’ success.'” – Lewis Black
- “Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.” – Josh Billings
- “I am a better person when I have less on my plate.” – Elizabeth Gilbert
- “Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.” – Jim Davis
- “An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.” – Will Rogers
- “Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.” – Erma Bombeck
- “The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you’re hungry again.” – George Miller
- “There’s no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.” – Kevin James
- “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” – J.R.R. Tolkien
- “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C. Fields
- “Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.” – Mark Twain
- “Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.” – Louis Pasteur
- “Ice cream is the perfect buffer, because you can do things in a somewhat lighthearted way. Plus, people have an emotional response to ice cream; it’s more than just food. So I think when you combine caring, and eating wonderful food, it’s a very powerful combination.” – Jerry Greenfield
- “Never eat more than you can lift.” – Miss Piggy
- “I wouldn’t touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can’t figure out how to make into a belt? – timecode 1:11:30” – Bill Maher
- “Fish, to taste right, must swim three times – in water, in butter, and in wine.” – Polish Proverb
- “I say 50 percent of the iceberg lettuce you eat is eaten by you and 50 percent is eaten by some other organism…In my case, it’s eaten by just a slightly smaller version of me.” – Conan O’Brien
- “My favorite animal is steak.” – Fran Lebowitz
- “I like a cook who smiles out loud when he tastes his own work.” – Robert A. Heinlein
- “I like rice, rice is great if you’re hungry and want 2000 of something.” – Mitch Hedberg
- “I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock.” – Barbara Grizzuti Harrison
- “First we eat, then we do everything else.” – M.F.K. Fisher
- “I don’t know what’s more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you’re doing.” – Jim Gaffigan
- “I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.” – Anonymous
- “I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is fourteen days.” – Totie Fields
- “If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?” – Anonymous
- “I’ve decided that perhaps I’m bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.” – Paula Poundstone
- “The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you’re off it.” – Jackie Gleason
- “You can’t just eat good food. You’ve got to talk about it too. And you’ve got to talk about it to somebody who understands that kind of food.” – Kurt Vonnegut
- “People want honest, flavorful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare.” – Ted Allen
- “Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper.” – Adelle Davis
- “I feel a recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation.” – Madame Benoit
- “I don’t follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event.” – Ron Ben-Israel
- “I cook to inspire my husband to pay attention to me.” – Sonia Rumzi
- “Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul.” – Dorothy Day
- “After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” – Oscar Wilde
- “Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all.” – Harriet Van Horne
- “You don’t need a silver fork to eat good food.” – Paul Prudhomme
- “Food is our common ground, a universal experience.” – James Beard
- “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” – Charles M. Schulz
- “Life is a combination of magic and pasta.” – Federico Fellini
- “I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – A. Whitney Brown
- “Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.” – Erma Bombeck
- “There is no love sincerer than the love of food.” – George Bernard Shaw
- “A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.” – Unknown
- “My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.” – Mike Myers
- “I’m pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10-year-old with a Hershey bar and crows feet.” – Amy Neftzger
- “When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, ‘Four. I don’t think I can eat eight.'” – Yogi Berra
- “I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.” – Unknown
- “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” – Miles Kington
- “I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C. Fields
- “An onion can make people cry, but there’s never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.” – Will Rogers
- “Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!” – Tommy Smothers
- “A party without cake is just a meeting.” – Julia Child
- “Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.” – Orson Welles
- “I hate people who are not serious about meals. It is so shallow of them.” – Oscar Wilde
- “If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?” – Unknown
- “One day I’m gonna make the onions cry.” – Unknown
- “Nothing says ‘I mean business’ like using a cart at the liquor store.” – Unknown
- “If God had intended us to follow recipes, He wouldn’t have given us grandmothers.” – Linda Henley
- “My doctor told me I had to stop throwing intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.” – Orson Welles
- “Food is an important part of a balanced diet.” – Fran Lebowitz
- “I love Thanksgiving turkey. It’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger
- “I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead — not sick, not wounded — dead.” – Woody Allen
- “Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.” – Woody Allen
- “Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.” – Mark Twain
- “Ice-cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn’t illegal.” – Voltaire
- “After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” – Oscar Wilde
- “I’ve been on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” – Unknown
- “Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments.” – Bethenny Frankel
- “Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.” – Ernestine Ulmer
- “An onion can make people cry, but there’s never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.” – Will Rogers
- “There is no sincerer love than the love of food.” – George Bernard Shaw
- “I’m not gaining weight. I’m retaining food.” – Unknown
- “Never trust a skinny cook.” – Unknown
- “Soup is just a way of screwing you out of a meal.” – Jay Leno
- “There is no sincere love than the love of food.” – George Bernard Shaw
- “Eating is a necessity but cooking is an art.” – Unknown
- “I’m not gaining weight. I’m retaining food.” – Unknown
- “The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.” – John Walters
- “You don’t need a silver fork to eat good food.” – Paul Prudhomme
- “The secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.” – Mark Twain
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And there you have it! A deliciously humorous collection of food quotes to feast on!
These quotes are a testament to how food isn’t just essential for life, but also a source of enjoyment, creativity, and of course, laughter.
So next time you’re sitting down to a meal, don’t forget to serve up a side of humor too.
Remember, laughter is a calorie-free seasoning that makes any dish better.
So, savor these quotes, share them with friends, and let the joy of food—and the fun of talking about it—fill your day with laughter!