Blondes have been the subject of many a joke in popular culture.
These playful jests stem from a stereotype that’s as golden as the hair it’s attached to: the idea that blondes have more fun but are a bit less sharp.
We know these clichés aren’t rooted in truth, but sometimes it’s fun to chuckle at their absurdity.
The following is a collection of jokes that play on these well-worn tropes.
Remember, it’s all in good fun and not meant to insult or propagate harmful stereotypes.
So let’s lighten up and laugh a little with these classic blonde jokes!
- Q: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing her puzzle in 6 months?
A: Because the box said “From 2-4 years.” - Q: Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar?
A: She heard the drinks were on the house. - Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of orange juice?
A: Because it said “concentrate.” - Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe near the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills! - Q: Why did the blonde bring sunscreen to the movie theater?
A: She heard the movie was going to be a “blistering” hit. - Q: Why did the blonde wear her baseball cap while cooking?
A: She heard the recipe said to “cap off the tomatoes.” - Q: Why did the blonde put her iPad in the blender?
A: Because she wanted to make apple juice. - Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff. - Q: Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
A: She was trying to make up her mind. - Q: Why did the blonde have a bruised navel?
A: Because blonde boyfriends aren’t that bright either. - Q: Why did the blonde take a paper bag to the clock store?
A: She wanted to get “time to go.” - Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car. - Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after she has been to bed?
A: She opens the car door. - Q: Why did the blonde have square boobs?
A: She forgot to take the tissues out of the box. - Q: Why did the blonde put water on her computer?
A: To surf the internet. - Q: How does a blonde brain cell die?
A: Alone. - Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
A: She kept throwing out the W’s. - Q: Why did the blonde bring a bag of popcorn to court?
A: Because she heard there was a trial mix. - Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
A: Write “Please turn over” on both sides of a piece of paper. - Q: Why did the blonde return the scarf to the store?
A: It was too tight. - Q: Why was the blonde happy when she finished the jigsaw puzzle in one year?
A: Because the box said ‘2-3 years.’ - Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree. - Q: Why did the blonde put her radio in the refrigerator?
A: She wanted to listen to some cool music. - Q: Why did the blonde get confused in the restroom?
A: She had to pull her own string to get out. - Q: Why did the blonde carry around a fish bowl?
A: She heard it was good for catching sea breezes. - Q: How did the blonde try to swim on land?
A: She dug a hole and filled it with water. - Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for three and a half days?
A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighs 125. - Q: Why did the blonde get thrown out of the tennis match?
A: Because she was making too much racquet. - Q: Why did the blonde return her new scarf?
A: It was too tight and kept choking her. - Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her. - Q: Why did the blonde put her money in the freezer?
A: She wanted cold hard cash! - Q: Why did the blonde carry a ladder to the bar?
A: She heard drinks were on the house. - Q: Why did the blonde girl stare at the carton of orange juice?
A: Because it said “concentrate.” - Q: Why did the blonde bring a pencil to bed?
A: She wanted to draw curtains. - Q: Why did the blonde girl get thrown out of the library?
A: Because she threw the book back at the librarian when she found out that “The Titanic” was a sad story. - Q: Why did the blonde become a big basketball fan?
A: Because every time they stopped the clock, she thought she stopped aging. - Q: Why did the blonde get a job at the bakery?
A: Because she kneaded dough. - Q: Why did the blonde decide to sell her vacuum cleaner?
A: Because all it was doing was gathering dust. - Q: Why did the blonde sit on the TV and watch the couch?
A: Because she wanted to change the channels in a comfortable way. - Q: Why did the blonde take a nap on the train tracks?
A: Because she wanted to wake up on the right side of the tracks. - Q: Why did the blonde bring a step ladder to the bar?
A: She heard the drinks were on the house. - Q: Why did the blonde stare at her orange juice box?
A: Because it said “concentrate.” - Q: Why did the blonde bring a TV remote to the theater?
A: She thought she could fast-forward the boring parts of the movie. - Q: Why did the blonde put her dollar bills in the oven?
A: She wanted some hot cash. - Q: Why did the blonde bring a bag of chips to the poker game?
A: Because she heard it was a friendly game of poker and chips. - Q: Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like when she was sleeping. - Q: Why did the blonde always carry a pad of paper?
A: She heard that you should always take notes when you learn something new. - Q: Why did the blonde refuse to play cards with the jungle cat at the zoo?
A: She was afraid of cheetahs. - Q: Why did the blonde get so excited about finishing a jigsaw puzzle quickly?
A: The box said ‘3-5 years’ but she did it in 1 month. - Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?
A: So she could use it as a mirror. - Q: Why did the blonde get angry at her iPhone?
A: She couldn’t find the phone app. - Q: Why did the blonde put sugar on her pillow?
A: She wanted to have sweet dreams. - Q: Why did the blonde carry around an empty water bottle?
A: She was collecting air samples. - Q: Why did the blonde keep checking her mailbox?
A: She was expecting an email. - Q: Why did the blonde put ice in her pants?
A: She wanted to keep her cool. - Q: Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed?
A: To see how long she slept. - Q: Why did the blonde sleep with a tennis trophy?
A: She wanted to wake up feeling like a winner. - Q: Why did the blonde try to drink a television?
A: She wanted to watch her weight. - Q: Why did the blonde take her curtains to the dry cleaner?
A: She heard it was a good place to remove wrinkles. - Q: Why did the blonde put her computer in the microwave?
A: She wanted a hot topic to discuss.
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And there you have it, a hilarious compilation of blonde jokes, designed to tickle your funny bone and not to stereotype or offend.
Blondes, brunettes, redheads, and every shade in between, we know you’re all intelligent and unique!
These jokes are all about playing on cultural clichés for a laugh.
So whether you’re blonde or not, we hope these gags brought a smile to your face!
It’s always important to remember, the best kind of humor is the one that unites us and fosters a shared sense of fun and joy.
Stay golden, and keep laughing!